Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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