I think my vagina is haunted
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
