He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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