think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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