Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize