I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
