im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
