Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize