when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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