Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
