My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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