I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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