there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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