it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
