Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
