I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
