mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
