WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
