My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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