why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
