chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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