It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
how does that bad decision feel?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
