i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
