He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
