Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.