I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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