ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
