I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I love having hate sex.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize