forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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