Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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