Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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