Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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