Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
All I want is dick and wine.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
