i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
