I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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