I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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