Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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