I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
