This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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