Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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