So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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