I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
