Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
