xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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