just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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