I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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