You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
