It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
