You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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