Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize