I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
