closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize