found the other keg... it's in the tree
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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