That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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