I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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