you guys were way drunker than both of me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
