Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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