He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
